HOW TO BE ANNOYING

1.Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
2.Drum on every available surface.
3.Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
4.Staple papers in the middle of the page.
5.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
6.Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
7.Sew anti-theft detector strips into people's backpacks.
8.Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
9.Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
10.Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
11.Set alarms for random times.
12.Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..." 13.Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
14.Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
15.Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
16.Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
17.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
18.Honk and wave to strangers.
19.Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
20.Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
21.Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
22.Wear your pants backwards.
23.Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
24.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
25.Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
26.Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
27.ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. only type in lowercase. dont use any punctuation either
28.Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
29.Pay for your dinner with pennies.
30.Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
31.Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
32.Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
33.Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ OJ Simpson conspiracy theories. 34.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now." 35.Light road flares on a birthday cake.
36.Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
37.Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
38.Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
39.Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
40.At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
41.When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
42.Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
43.As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
44.Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
45.Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
46.Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song.
47.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
48.Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
49.Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
50.Drive half a block.
51.Name your dog "Dog".
52.Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
53.Ask people what gender they are.
54.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
55.Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
56.Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
57.Forget the punchline to a long joke, but tell the listener it was a "real hoot".
58.Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
59.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
60.Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers' brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
61.While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
62.Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
63.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
64.Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
65.Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each A.
66.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
67.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
68.Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
69.Wear a LOT of cologne.
70.Ask to "interface" with someone.
71.Listen to 33 rpm records at 45 rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
72.Sing along at the opera.
73.Mow your lawn with scissors.
74.At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
75.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
76.Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
77.Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
78.Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
79.Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
80.Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
81.Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
82.Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
83.Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
84.Never make eye contact. Never break eye contact.
85.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
86.Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
87.Construct your own pretend "tricorder";"scan" people with it, announcing the results.
88.Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
89.Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
90.Make appointments for the 31st of September.
91.Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
92. If you have a glass eye, tap on it with the end of your pencil while talking to people.
93. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
94. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it 'IN."
95. Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
96. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
97. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)
98. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
99. Call the psychic hotline and just say "Guess who!"
100. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I won!" "I won!" for the 3rd time this week!!!
101. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they are loose!"
102. Tell your boss, " It's not the voices in my head that bothers me, its the voices in your head that do.
103. Pay tolls with $100 bills
104. Practice the art of limp handshakes
105. Tell the ending of movies
106. Give little kids clothes for their birthdays
107. Take more than 20 items to the express checkout lane
108. Turn on your bright for oncoming traffic
109. Finish other people's crossword puzzles
110. Use the last square of toilet paper
111. Tailgate the elderly
112. Drum your fingers during other people's presentations
113. Blow out other people's birthday candles
114. Leave your supermarket cart on the street or in the parking lot
115. Block the entrances of elevators, buses, and subways
116. When giving directions, leave out a turn or two
117. Leave the outdoor Christmas decorations up until March or April
118. Serve corn on the cob to people with dentures
119. See if you can be the first one off the plane, even if you are sitting by the window
120. Put a title like Senator or Doctor before your name when making dinner and hotel reservations
121. Before exiting the elevator, push all the buttons
122. Develop at least three strategies for cutting into the front of lines
123. Snap your gum
124. Squeeze the toothpaste from the top, and while you're at it, leave the cap off
125. Open umbrellas in crowded hallways
126. Announce when you're going to the bathroom
127. Read over other people's shoulders on the bus
128. Pinch all the chocolate candies until you find the one you want
129. Leave your pantyhose hanging in the shower
130. Lie to your therapist and sit in her chair
131. Let doors slam behind you -- in other people's faces
132. Tell teenagers how things were in your day
133. Hold the elevator until you have finished your conversation
134. Pee in the swimming pool
135. Ride on the shoulder until you pass all the jammed traffic; then cut in
136. Wear large hats during the movies
137. Race the old woman for the last bus seat
138. Bring 15 things into the dressing room
139. Draw mustaches on posters
140. Don't rewind videocassettes before bringing them back
141. Walk very slowly, and make sure nobody can get past you
142. Tell little children the truth about Santa Claus
143. Fart in cramped places
144. Don't stand during hymns and anthems
145. Leave pages in the copier
146. Don't clean the dryer lint screen
147. Buy it, wear it, return it
148. Tell people they have bad breath
149. Eat out with friends and "forget" your wallet
150. Put everyone on speakerphone
151. Step on the back of the shoe of the person in front of you
152. Make scary faces at babies
153. Flirt with a friend's spouse
154. Sit in the home bleachers and cheer for the other team
155. Shake with your left hand