Breakfast Club

BREAKFAST CLUB QUOTES

Vernon: Questions?
Bender: Yeah, I've got a question. Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?
Vernon: I'll give you the answer to that question, Mr.Bender, next Saturday. Dont mess with the bull young man, you'll get the horns.

Claire: You know why guys like you knock everything?
Bender: Oh, this should be stunning.
Claire: 'Cause you're afraid.
Bender: Oh God, you richies are so smart, that's exactly why I'm not heavy in activities.
Claire: You're a big coward.
Brian: I'm in the math club.
Claire: You're afraid that they won't take you. You don't belong so you just have to dump all over it.
Bender: Well, it wouldn't have anything to do with you activities people being assholes now would it?
Claire: You wouldn't know. You don't know any of us.
Bender: Well, I don't know any lepers either but I'm not gonna run out and join one of their fuckin' clubs.
Andrew: Lets watch the mouth, huh?
Brian: I'm in the physics club.
Bender: Excuse me a sec. What are you babbling about?
Brian: Well, what I said was that I'm in the math club, the latin club and the physics club.
Bender: Hey, cherry, do you belong to the physics club?
Claire: Thats an academic club.
Bender: So?
Claire: So, academic clubs arent the same as other kinds of clubs.
Bender: But the dorks like him, they are. What do you guys do in your club?
Brian: In physics, well, we talk about physics... properties of physics.
Bender: So its sort of social. Demented and sad, but social, right?

Bender: I have such a deep admiration for guys who role around on the floor with other guys.
Andrew: You'd never miss it. You don't have any goals.
Bender: Oh, but I do. I want to be just like you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.
Brian: You wear tights?
Andrew: No, I do not wear tights. I wear the required uniform.
Brian: Tights.
Andrew: Shut up!

Vernon: Why is that door closed?!
Bender: How are we supposed to know, we're not supposed to move right?

Claire: Are you crazy?
Brian: Obviously she's crazy if she's screwing a shrink.

Vernon: Gimme that.
Bender: I don't have it.
Vernon: You want me to yank you out of that seat and shake it out of you?
Bender: I don't have it. Screws fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place.

Bender: How come Andrew gets to get up? If he gets up, we'll all get up, IT'LL BE ANARCHY!

Vernon: You're not fooling anyone, Bender. The next screw that falls out is going to be you.
Bender: Eat my shorts.
Vernon: What was that?
Bender: Eat. My. Shorts.
Vernon: You just bought yourself another Saturday.
Bender: Ugh, I'm crushed.
Vernon: You just bought one more right there.
Bender: Well, I'm free the Saturday after that. Beyond that, I'm gonna have to check my calendar.
Vernon: Good. Because its going to be filled. We'll keep going. Want another one? Say the word. Just say the word. Instead of going to prison you'll come here. Are you through?
Bender: No.
Vernon: I'm doing society a favor.
Bender: So?
Vernon: Thats another one right now. I've got you the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?
Bender: Yes.
Vernon: You got it! Right there, thats another one pal.
Claire: Cut it out!
Vernon: You through?
Bender: Not even close, BUD.
Vernon: Good. You got one more, right there.
Bender: You really think I give a shit?
Vernon: Another. You through?
Bender: How many is that?
Brian: Thats seven including when you asked Mr.Vernon here if Barry Manilow knew that he raided his closet.
Vernon: Now its eight.You stay out of this.
Brian: Excuse me, sir, its seven.
Vernon: Shut up, Peewee. You're mine, Bender.For two months, I've gotcha.
Bender: What can I say? I'm THRILLED.

Bender: Being bad feels pretty good, huh?

Bender: There's nothing to do when you're locked in a vacancy.
Andrew: Well, speak for yourself.
Bender: Do you think I'd speak for you? I don't even know your language.

Bender: Sporto, do you get along with your parents?
Andrew: Well, if I say yes I'm an idiot, right?
Bender: You're an idiot anyway. But if you say you get along with your parents, well then you're a liar too.

Bender: Dork,
Brian: Yeah?
Bender: You are a parents wet dream, OK?
Brian: Well, thats the problem.
Bender: Look, I can see you getting all bunged up for them making you wear these kind of clothes. But face it, you're a neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie. What would you be doing if you weren't out making yourself a better citizen?
Andrew: Why do always have to insult everybody?
Bender: I'm being honest, asshole. I would expect you to know the difference.

Andrew: Yeah well he has a name.
Bender: Yeah?
Andrew: Yeah. Whats your name?
Brian: Brian.
Andrew: See?
Bender: My condolences.

Bender: Uh, Carl?
Carl: What?
Bender: Can I ask you a question?
Carl: Sure.
Bender: How does one become a janitor?
Carl: You want to be a janitor?
Bender: No, I just want to know how one becomes a janitor because Andrew here is very interested in persuing a career in the custodial arts.

Bender: Uh, Dick? Excuse me, Rich? Will milk be made available to us?

Bender: What are we having?
Brian: Just your normal everyday lunch.
Bender: Milk?
Brian: Soup.... Apple juice.
Bender: I can read. PB & J with the crusts cut off. Well Brian, this is a very nutricious lunch. All the food groups are represented. Did your mom marry Mr. Rogers?
Brian: No, Mr. Johnson.

Vernon: What if your home, what if your family, what if your dope was on fire?
Bender: Impossible, sir. Its in Johnson's underwear.

Bender: A naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says,'I suppose you won't be needing a drink.' Naked lady says-- "OOHHHH Shiit!!"
((Ruckus))
Vernon: Jesus Christ Almighty!
Bender: Forgot my pencil.

Bender: You know how you said before, how your parents use you to get back at each other? Wouldn't I be outstanding in that capacity?

Bender: Don't you ever talk about my friends! You don't know any of my friends. You don't look at any of my friends. And you certainly wouldn't condescend to speak to any of my friends. So you just stick to the things you know: shopping, nail polish, your father's BMW, and your poor, rich drunk mother in the Caribbean.
Claire: Shut up!
Bender: And as far as being concerned about what's gonna happen when you and I walk down the hallways of school together, you can forget it cuz it's never gonna happen. Just bury your head in the sand and wait for your fucking prom.

Alison: I don't have to run away and live in the street. I can run away and I can go to the ocean, to the country, to the mountains. I could go to Isreal, Africa, Afghanistan.

[Vernon catches Bender playing basketball in the gym]
Bender: Don't you want to hear my excuse? I'm thinkin' of tryin' out for a scholarship.

Brian: I'm a fucking idiot because I can't make a lamp?
Bender: No. You're a genius because you can't make a lamp.
Brian: What do you know about trigonometry?
Bender: I could care less about trigonometry.
Brian: Bender, did you know without trigonometry there would be no engineering?
Bender: Without lamps there'd be no light.

Vernon: What was that ruckus?!
Andrew: Uh, what ruckus?
Vernon: I was just in my office and heard a ruckus.
Brian: Could you describe the ruckus, sir.

Bender: What's in there?
Claire: Guess? Where's your lunch?
Bender: You're wearing it.
Claire: You're nauseating.
Bender: [pointing to Claire's lunch] What's that?
Claire: Sushi.
Bender: Sushi??
Claire: Rice, raw fish, and seaweed.
Bender: You won't accept a guy's tongue in your mouth, and you're going to eat that?
Claire: Can I eat?
Bender: I don't know. Give it a try.

Andrew: This is the worst fake I.D. I've ever seen. You realize you made yourself sixty-eight.
Brian: Oh, I know, I know. I goofed it.
Andrew: What do you need a fake I.D. for?
Brian: So I can vote!

Claire: What's your name?
Bender: What's yours?
Claire: Claire.
Bender: Claire?!
Claire: Claire. It's a family name.
Bender: Oh, it's a fat girl's name.
Claire: Oh, thank you.
Bender: You're welcome.
Claire: I'm not fat.
Bender: Well not at present, but I can see you really pushing maximum density. See I'm not sure if you know this, but there are two kinds of fat people: there's fat people that were born to be fat, and there's fat people that were once thin but became fat... so when you look at 'em you can sorta see that thin person inside. You see, you're gonna get married, you're gonna squeeze out a few puppies and then, uh...

[Bender is absently tearing up books]
Andrew: That's real intelligent.
Bender: You're right. It's wrong to destroy literature. It's such fun to read. And [examines title] Moe-Lay really pumps my nads.
Claire: Moliere.

Vernon: When I say essay, I mean, essay. I do not mean a single word repeated a-thousand times.

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