Animal House

LEGALLY BLONDE QUOTES

Elle : And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

Elle : The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle : I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't kill their husbands, they just don't.

Vivian : Nice costume.
Elle : You too. Except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

Elle : Hi. I'm Elle Woods and this is Bruiser Woods. We're both Gemini vegetarians.

Boutique Saleswoman : There's nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy's plastic.

Elle : I'm studying the LSAT's
Serena : My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your...

Elle : I don't need back-ups. I'm going to Harvard.
C.U.L.A. Advisor : Well then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors.
Elle : Okay.
C.U.L.A. Advisor : And a heck of an admissions essay.
Elle : Right.
C.U.L.A. Advisor : And at least a 175 on your LSATs.
Elle : I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.

Elle's Mother : Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropics" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle : Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
Elle's Father : Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

Brooke : You know a Delta Nu would never sleep with a man who wears a thong.
Elle : I know.
Brooke : I just liked to watch him change the filter.

Warner Huntington III : If I want to be elected Senator by the time I'm 30, I need to marry a Jackie, not a Marilyn.

Elle : Did you see him? He's probably still scratching his head.
Paulette : Yeah, which must be a nice vacation for his balls.

Elle : I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.
[someone whistles at her]
Elle : I object.

Emmett : I can't believe you just called me a butthead. I don't think anybody has called me a butthead since the 9th grade.
Elle : Maybe not to your face.

Elle : Excuse me.
[turns around and slaps David]
Elle : Why didn't you call me? We spent a beautiful night together and I haven't heard from you since.
David : [pause] I'm sorry?
Elle : Sorry for what? For breaking my heart, or for giving me the greatest pleasure I've ever known and just taking it away?
David : Both?
Elle : Well, forget it. I've spent too much time crying over you.
Girl: [after Elle has walked off] So, when did you wanna go out?

Elle : Uh. I'm sorry. I just hallucinated.

Elle : Oh Warner, do you remember when we spent those four amazing hours in the hot tub together after winter formal?
Warner Huntington III : Uhh, ye... no
Elle : Well this is so much better than that. Excuse me, I have some shopping to do.

Warner Huntington III : Pooh bear, just get in the car.
Elle : No.
[starts walking away, sniffling]
Warner Huntington III : You're gonna ruin your shoes.
Elle : Okay.
[gets in car]

Professor Callahan : Do you think she woke up one morning and said: I think I'll go to law school today.

Warner Huntington III : You got into Harvard Law?
Elle : What? Like, it's hard?

Paulette : Is she as pretty as you?
Elle : She could use some mascara and some serious highlights, but otherwise, she's not completely unfortunate looking.

Elle : Because I'm not a Vanderbilt, suddenly I'm white trash? I grew up in Bel Air, Warner. Across the street from Aaron Spelling. I think most people would agree that's a lot better than some stinky old Vanderbilt.

Elle : You're breaking up with me because I'm too... blonde.

Paulette : So what's a girl to do? He's a guy who followed his pecker to greener pastures. I'm a middle aged, high school drop out with stretch marks and a fat ass.

Elle : This is what I need to become.
Old Lady at Manicurist : What? Practically deformed?
Elle : No, a law student.

Enrique Salvatore : Don't stomp your little last season Prada shoes at me, honey.
Elle : These aren't last season!

Professor Stromwell : If you're going to let one stupid prick ruin your life... you're not the girl I thought you were.

Professor Callahan : Let the blood bath begin.

Elle : Bend and snap.

Maurice : Oh, my God, the bend and snap works every time!

[Elle is presiding at her sorority meeting]
Elle : It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin... to generic. All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye".
Entire Sorority Group: Aye.

Warner Huntington III : How was your first class?
Elle : Oh, it was okay, except for this horrible preppy girl who tried to make me look bad in front of the professor, but no biggie.

Emmett : Did you take Mrs. Windham on a date?
Enrique Salvatore : Yes.
Emmett : Where?
Enrique Salvatore : A restaurant out of town, where no one would recognize us.
Emmett : How long have you been sleeping with Brooke?
Enrique Salvatore : Three months.
Emmett : And your boyfriend's name is...
Enrique Salvatore : Chuck.
Emmett : Right.
[Everyone gasps/laughs]
Enrique Salvatore : No, I'm sorry. I thought you said friend; Chuck is just a friend.
Chuck : YOU BITCH.

Elle : All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs.

Elle : [to Emmett] So, if you don't know an answer they're just gonna kick you out.
Emmett : So you have Stromwell, huh?
Elle : Yes. Did she do that to you too?
Emmett : No, but she did make me cry once... not in class I waited until I got back to my room, but yeah she'll kick you right in the balls, or wherever.

Elle : Don't ask.
Emmett : Wasn't gonna.

Margot : Here, you're gonna need this.
Elle : Your scrunchie?
Margot : My LUCKY scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
Serena : You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap dance after the final.
Margot : Yeah... Luckily!

[sees Elle in her Bunny costume]
Warner Huntington III : Hey well don't you look like a walking felony.
Elle : Thanks, you're so sweet.

Elle : Warner, what kind of shoes are these?
Warner Huntington III : Umm... black ones.

Serena : Oh, look, there's Elle!
Margot : Elle, we came to see your trial and look! There's like a judge and everything!
Serena : VOTE FOR ELLE!
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford : Ladies, take a seat!

Paulette : So What does this Vivian got that you don't got, three tits?

~ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0250494/quotes

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