SHREK QUOTES


Hunter: "Yeah! He'll grind your bones for his breakfast!"
Shrek: "Well actually, that would be giants. Now, ogres, they're much worse! They'll make a soup from your freshly peeled skin! They'll shave your livers, squeeze the jelly from your eyes!. Actually, it's quite good on toasts."
Hunter: "Back beast, back! I warn you!"
Shrek: "This is the part when you run away."
 
~ You know what? Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk

~ Eh donkey! Two things: shut... up

Donkey: Hey, hi princess!
Fiona: Oh, it talks!
Shrek: Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

Fiona: But how would you kiss me?
Shrek: What? That wasn't in the job description!

Fiona: that's not right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn and fight. That's what all the other knights did!"
Shrek: Yeah! Right before they burst into flames!
Fiona: That's not the point.

Donkey: Wow, that was really scary and if you don't mind me saying, if that don't work, your breath will certainly get the job done, 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs or something 'cause your breath STINKS!

Shrek: Stop singing!!! It's no wonder you don't have any friends.

Donkey: "Can I stay with you please?"
Shrek: "Of course!" 
Donkey: "Really?"
Shrek: "No!"

Donkey: Please! I don't wanna go back there! You don't know what it's like to be considered a freak....well maybe you do!

Shrek: "For your information, there's a lot more to ogres than people think."
Donkey: "Example?"
Shrek: "Example. OK, er, ogres are like... onions! "
Donkey: "'Cause they stink?"
Shrek: "Yes. No.."
Donkey: "Oh, they make you cry?"
Shrel: "No!"
Donkey: "Oh, you mean if you leave them out they get brown and start growing little white hairs?"
Shrek: " No! Onions have layers! Ogres have layers. D'you get it? We both have layers!"
Donkey: "Oh, you both have layers. You know not everybody like onions! Eh, cakes! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers!"
Shrek: "I don't care what everyone likes! Ogres are not like cakes!"

Farquad: "Now tell me, where are the others?!"
Gingerbread man: "Eat me!"

Donkey: "Oh, it's another one of those onion things isn't it?"
Shrek: "No. This is one of those 'drop it and leave it alone!' things."

Donkey: You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly! Ha, ha!
 

Gingerbread man: Alright! Do you know...the muffin man?
Farquaad: The muffin man?
Gingerbread man: The muffin man.
Farquaad: Yes, I know the muffin man. Who lives on Drury Lane?
Gingerbread man: She's married to the muffin man--
Farquaad: The muffin man?!?
Gingerbread man: THE MUFFIN MAN!!!

Magic Mirror: She lives with seven men, but she's not easy.

Shrek: Oh, don't tell me you're afraid of heights.
Donkey: No, I'm just uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge, over a BOILING LAKE OF LAVA!

~ Don't mess wit' me! I'm the Stair Master! I've Mastered the Stairs! I wish I had a step right here, I could step here and here and here and step all over it!
 
~ Oh, what large teeth you have! I mean white sparkly teeth, I know you probably hear this all the time from your food but you must bleach or something, 'cause that's one dazzling smile you got there and do I detect a hint of minty freshness?

Fiona: You didn't slay the dragon?
Shrek: It's on my "to do" list. Now come on!

Donkey: Blue flowers, red thorns. Blue flowers, red thorns..... This would be so much easier if I wasn't .. COLORBLIND!

Donkey: Oh man! I can't feel my toes.... I don't have any toes!!! I think I need a hug.

Donkey: It's ok, you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24/7!

~ I've got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it!

~ I'm a donkey on the edge!
 

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Copyright © 2004 by TP. All rights reserved.
Revised: 05/15/07 14:35:07 -0700.