| Mikey, is he
cute? Is he brown? Would he like to join us for a cocktail?
Is he polite? Is he clean? Have him take off his shoes.
Don't let him go!
Look at this, OK? I want you to remember this face. This is
the guy behind the guy behind the guy.
~ So, what'd you think of
that Dorothy girl?
~ The whole Judy Garland thing kinda turned me on. Does that
make me some kind of fag?
~ No, baby, you're money.
Trent, the beautiful babies don't
work the midnight to six shift on a Wednesday. This is like
the skank shift.
That was so fucking money.
That was like the Jedi mind-shit.
~ People get carjacked.
~Who's gonna carjack your fuckin' K-Car? He's right Sue you
don't need to carry a gat!
How about if I wait six weeks to call. I could tell her I
found her number while I was cleaning out my wallet, I can't
remember where we met. I'll ask her what she looks like and
then I'll ask her if we fucked. How about that? Would that
be money?
~ Those guys are right. You're
money.
~ Then why won't she call?
~ She won't call because you left. She's got her own life to
deal with and that's in New York. She's a sweet girl and I
love her to pieces, but fuck her, man. You got to get on
with your life. You've got to let go of the past Mikey, and
when you do, the future is beautiful.
~ I wish they still had fights in this game so I could
bitch-slap Wayne.
~ What? They don't have fighting anymore?
~ Doesn't that suck?
~ Why'd they get rid of the fighting? It was the best part
of the old version.
~ I think kids were hittin' each other or somethin', man.
~ Yeah but you know what, Mike? You can make their heads
bleed in this one.
~ Make somebody's head bleed.
~ No man, were in the playoffs.
You're so money and you don't even know it!
~ You know what you are? You're like a big bear with claws
and with fangs...
~ ...big fucking teeth, man.
~ Yeah... big fuckin' teeth on ya'. And she's just like this
little bunny, who's just kinda cowering in the corner.
~ Shivering.
~ Yeah, man just kinda... you know, you got these claws and
you're staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself,
and with these claws you're thinking, "How am I supposed to
kill this bunny, how am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
~ And you're poking at it, you're poking at it...
~ Yeah, you're not hurting it. You're just kinda gently
batting the bunny around, you know what I mean? And the
bunny's scared Mike, the bunny's scared of you, shivering.
~ And you got these fucking claws and these fangs...
~ And you got these fucking claws and these fangs, man! And
you're looking at your claws and you're looking at your
fangs. And you're thinking to yourself, you don't know what
to do, man. "I don't know how to kill the bunny." With
*this* you don't know how to kill the bunny, do you know
what I mean?
~ You're like a big bear, man.
~ So you're not just like fucking with me?
~ No I'm not fucking with you.
~ Honestly, man.
Um... a malt Glen Garry for me
and my friend here. And if you tell that bartender to go
extra easy on the water, this 50 cent piece has your name on
it.
.
~ She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
~ She was smiling at how money I am, baby.
Hey! What're you kicking me
for? You want me to ask? All right, I'll ask! Ma'am, where
do the high school girls hang out in this town?
All I do is stare at their
mouths and wrinkle my nose, and I turn out to be a
sweetheart.
~ Hi, how are you ladies
doing this evening?
~ What do you drive?
I don't want you to be the guy in
the PG-13 movie everyone's *really* hoping makes it happen.
I want you to be like the guy in the rated R movie, you
know, the guy you're not sure whether or not you like yet.
You're not sure where he's coming from. Okay? You're a bad
man. You're a bad man, Mikey. You're a bad man, bad man.
Haven't you seen Boyz N The
Hood? Now one of us is going to get shot.
You're a big winner. I'm gonna
ask you a simple question and I want you to listen to me:
who's the big winner here tonight at the casino? Huh? Mikey,
that's who. Mikey's the big winner. Mikey wins.
~ So how long do I wait to
call?
~ A day.
~ Tomorrow.
~ Tomorrow, then a day.
~ Yeah.
~ So two days?
~ Yeah, I guess you could call it that, two days.
~ Definitely, two days is like industry standard.
~ You know I used to wait two days to call anybody, but now
it's like everyone in town waits two days. So I think three
days is kind of money. What do you think?
~ Yeah, but two's enough not to look anxious.
~ But I think three days is kind of money. You know because
you...
~ Yeah, but you know what, maybe I'll wait 3 weeks. How's
that? And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet and I just
happened to run into her number.
~ Then ask her where you met her.
~ Yeah, I'll ask her where I met her. I don't remember. What
does she look like? And then I'll asked if we fucked. Is
that... would that be... T, would that be the money?
Look, we're gonna spend half the night driving around the Hills looking
for this one party and you're going to say it sucks and
we're all gonna leave and then we're gonna go look for this
other party. But all the parties and all the bars, they all
suck. I spend half the night talking to some girl who's
looking around the room to see if there's somebody else
who's more important she should be talking to. And it's like
I'm supposed to be all happy 'cause she's wearing a
backpack, you know? And half of them are just nasty skanks
who wouldn't be nothing except they're surrounded by a bunch
of drunken horny assholes. And I'm gonna tell you something
T. Are you listening?
~ Okay, so what if I don't want
to give up on her?
~ You don't call.
~ But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
~ Right.
~ So I don't call either way?
~ Right.
~ So what's the difference?
~ There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only
difference between giving up and not giving up is if you
take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do
anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can
only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
~ So the only difference is if I forget about her or just
pretend to forget about her?
~ Right.
~ Well that sucks.
~ Yeah, it sucks.
~ So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I
could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back
make like I just pretended to forget about her?
~ Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
~ What do you mean?
~ I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about
her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then
eventually, you really will forget about her.
~ Well what if she comes back first?
~ Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to
come back until you really forget.
~ There's the rub.
You take yourself out of the
game, you start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream and
of course it's going to end up on the friendship tip.
All right, all right I'll
ask her. Miss, miss! Do you know where the high school girls
hang out around here? What? What? That's right, I'm the
asshole! I'm the asshole!
(some of this is from
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0117802/quotes)
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